Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I queefed so loud it echoed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
