dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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