You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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