That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
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I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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