420 ftw
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
