I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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