i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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