Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
