Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I cockslap morals
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
