LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
