i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
