I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Welp...herpes.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
