But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
there is glitter all over my balls
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