the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize