You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
