My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
