I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
