I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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