first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she pinky promised me she was 18
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize