so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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