I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
