dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
