whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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