I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
