fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
