her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
