Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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