Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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