i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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