I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
