He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
