I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
