I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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