So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
