oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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