yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
