I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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