girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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