A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
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Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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