Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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