just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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