I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
