i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
