you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
