I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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