yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
