i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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