Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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