i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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