I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
