Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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