had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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