hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
