She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
When are your genitals available?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
