my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
