hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
