First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
