i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
