like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
