It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.