is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
