Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
